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Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:36 pm
- 2009년 05월 28일 / -
I never believe that i should live my life in someway because someone told me to.
I don't care if that self centered obnoxious fella is watching what i'm doing and bring it up in an arguement with you. Even if i did live the way you want me to, its not going to change that person. that person is probably happy cause that person can just sit back relax and other people's doing to work.
I have helped out .. i have contributed.. but it doesn't change anything. All i ever get from helping out was someone telling me that it never happened, that i've never contributed.
Yeah.. all i've ever been was someone who people who take out their anger or shit on, Even when i'm sick , people still take out their anger on you because they are in a bad mood, and when you're threatened in an arguement you think banging things will scare people. I can throw things, I can bang things, but i choose not to. I'm not going to become someone like you.
In kindergarden people didn't want to play with me - fine. In primary school people mysteriously turned cold on me one day - fine, people chased me around every recess time - fine. In secondary school people make use of me-fine, people two-timed me- fine, people betrayed the friendship - fine.. and later on people make use of me so that could hang out with people they liked - fine, people make use of me because they are bored on a saturday night- fine, people need money they come find me - fine.
People dont' notice me fine.. i don't care.. its because of the shit that i've experience thats why i'm living my life like that now. I'm not perfect either.. i know sometimes my mood take the better of me,but i'm not perfect, i have flaws just like everyone else. I don't make use of people, i don't focus on people's negative act. Even if people betrayed me i'm still willing to be friends, not best friends but normal people who i'm willing to say HI to if we see each other.
If i don't like someone, i'll just ignore them.. so what..? its not like everyone likes me either.
I'm not going to clean my room just because someone is watching me. Does it mean if that person doesn't want to stop smoking you want me to start smoking and force myself to quit to show that person that it can be done? Or i have to force my myself to work because someone is watching? You asked me to think positively in what you said, but all you ever did was focus on my negative points.
Thanks alot for that. Thanks alot for people treating me like shit. I really appreciate that. whatever
｀（*∩_∩*）′～★☆
사랑해요
ベルナヂだ
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